Rules for adult children living in parents’ home.

 Do you have an adult child living at home?

 “More young adults today live in their parents home then any other kind of household. Almost ⅓ of millennial’s are under their parents roof, among those, 1 in 4 are not working or going to school, and that could affect their parents retirement savings.” CBS This Morning with Gayle King produced this segment about adult children and the effects on parents when trying to save for their own retirement. 

It is vital that parents set up boundaries and communicate specifically what is expected of their adult child otherwise many things will suffer, including their retirement. Open and honest communication with the child prior to them moving back home is ideal, but not always the situation. Often times the adult child never moved out of the home in the first place and the expectations were never clearly identified. It is important that rules are established as early as possible in order to help guide the young adult towards more independence.  Adult children have a responsibility to be respectful, participate in housework and share in the financial burden. 

These are four key areas that need to be discussed openly and honestly with the child:

  • Establish financial expectations. 
  • Clear understanding of household duties.
  • Be respectful and define what is not tolerated.
  • Develop goals and long term plans.

Many parents feel like they have tried everything but are still stuck in a cycle that they are unable to get out of. Often times parents have outlined expectations, but they are not being followed. Setting a clear boundary where, if it is broken, the consequence is understood by all parties. Many times the consequence should include the adult child no longer gets to reside in the parents home if their end of the bargain is not upheld. Especially if they are bringing any type of illegal activity into the home. This is easier said than done, especially if there is no appropriate alternative of housing for the young adult.

We, at Soulegria Leadership Ranch, are the next step for parents facing this difficult situation. We provide family style homes where the students live in a mentored environment.  While here they are able to gain work experience, get college credits, and learn relationship and leadership skills, so that they can transition smoothly into independence and living on their own. Contact us now to find out more about how we can help.

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